We were complete opposites - so naturally we became fast friends. He was from a wealthy family and the only thing we had in common was our love for Beatles music.
I had been in LA a few weeks and one night at around 2 or 3 AM, we were driving through Beverly Hills.
As our car was traveling down the street, we noticed two people walking on the side of the road.
It was two girls. One girl was dressed in a gorgeous (and probably very expensive) evening gown and heels while the other was wearing a t-shirt, ripped jeans and sneakers. Two total opposites. And they were hitchhiking!
As we approached these two girls at 2 or 3 AM in the morning, my friend and I turned to each other. With big smiles on our faces we slowed to a stop next to the two girls. (I'm sure we were both thinking we were going to get lucky.) (Two girls, two guys, what could go wrong? What else could happen?)
I rolled the window down and asked the girls if they needed a ride. As they turned to look at us, I noticed that the girl in t-shirt and jeans looked familiar - very familiar - even though she appeared disheveled and ah - somewhat dirty - not sexy - but dirt, grime and - dirt.
The girls said "yes." I almost couldn't contain my excitement thinking the stars had aligned in my favor this evening.
As the girls climbed into the back seat - of our little 2 door - it suddenly hit me who this girl in the jeans and t-shirt was - it was Valerie Bertinelli!
The girls settled into the back and we got going again. As the car began to accelerate, I asked "Aren't you Valerie Bertinelli?"
The girl in jeans and t-shirt replied "No," and my heart shrunk a bit, "that's my sister," she said, and my heart lifted again - maybe I could meet Valerie Bertinelli through her sister were my thoughts - maybe I would ask in the morning when we were driving the girls home - fully expecting them to spend the night - of course.
The girls gave us directions to their destination - another party in Beverly Hills they said - and we chatted for a few minutes. Then the back seat became oddly quiet.
Strange noises began to come from the back and again my friend and I turned to each other - this time with quizzical looks on our faces. He turned back to driving as I turned to surmise what was happening in the back seat.
Just as I began to turn around, a dirty sneaker slapped into the windshield. One of the girls giggled. And then a dirty, torn sock found its way to the front. Another sneaker dropped in between the front seats. My friend and I looked at each other. "What the heck is going on?"
As I was attempting to establish some theory as to what was going on in the back seat, the white evening gown draped itself over my head.
The girls in the back seat began laughing and then all hell broke loose. Over the next five or ten minutes, every article of clothing the girls were wearing found its way to the front of the car. Everything!
I glanced back again to see two naked bodies heavily making out with each other. "Darn!" I thought, "two naked beautiful women in my car and they're lesbians, just my luck!" Needless, to say I was deeply disappointed. I thought, "Does Valerie know her sister is gay?"
About 45 minutes later - in the Hollywood Hills - not Beverly Hills as the girls had said, we pulled up before a home. The girls were redressed by now and they climbed out of the car, saying goodbye and thanks and waving to us as we drove away. Little did I know at the time, this wasn't the end.
Two days had passed and my friend said his cousin had called and she needed a ride home from work.
As we were waiting outside of her workplace, this girl walked out. I recognized her. It was Valerie Bertinelli's sister! She saw us and she began to walk toward the car. I thought she simply recognized us because we had given her a ride home a couple of days earlier.
As she approached the car my friend said, "Well, let her in." "What?" I got out of the car and as she climbed into the back seat, both her and my friend began laughing hysterically.
"Ok, what's going on?" I asked.
Valerie's "sister" answered, "I'm not Valerie Bertinelli's sister," she said, "I'm Kevin's (my friend) cousin, I don't think Valerie even has a sister!"
Both began to laugh hysterically again. I never found out if picking up the girls was a setup from the beginning, or they just took advantage of the situation when I assumed she was Valerie's sister. I asked, but all I got was smiles.
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